How To Date Your Spouse

     According to Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., a relationship educator in Philadelphia, "sustaining the spark in a relationship isn't automatic, no matter how much you love one another.  Every couple fights, has their rough patches, and goes through times when they might even feel like giving up.  But those who take the necessary steps to turn things around and find their groove again often fall more in love than when they first got married."

     There are several examples that have been proven to work for lots of couples to help them have that "newly married" feeling even after more than five years.  Schedule intimate time together.  A lot of couples think that spontaneity is the "spice of life", but several researchers have found that scheduled time for intimacy is the only real world solution for many couples and the key is to be consistant.  Have a monthly "check-in" session going over the good and bad of your relationship.  Try not to focus on the negative or get bogged down with regret or what's missing, instead focus on the small moments and gestures that make you grateful for choosing the person you are with and celebrate those moments.  Don't be afraid to do your own thing once in awhile, after all, your interests and individual personality are what attracted you to your mate in the first place.  It's ok to keep connected to the things that you are passionate about.  This keeps those late night talks interesting and lets the other person rediscover you in a new way.

     Here's a little checklist of "8 ways to date your spouse":
1.   Kiss like you mean it.
2.   Fantasize about your future together.
3.   Have him/her plan your next night out.
4.   Ask him/her for updates on their friends.
5.   Sit on the same couch.
6.   Try a new activity together.
7.   Flirt with each other.
8.   Hold hands in public.

     When it comes down to it, there are so many things to learn about marriage and how to not go down the divorce path, but if you ever do, just remember to get a good lawyer!  Remember, you get what you pay for!


Benjamin, Jennifer. "How to Love Him Like You Just Met Him!". Redbook. September 2010. 191-196. Print.