How To Date Your Spouse

     According to Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., a relationship educator in Philadelphia, "sustaining the spark in a relationship isn't automatic, no matter how much you love one another.  Every couple fights, has their rough patches, and goes through times when they might even feel like giving up.  But those who take the necessary steps to turn things around and find their groove again often fall more in love than when they first got married."

     There are several examples that have been proven to work for lots of couples to help them have that "newly married" feeling even after more than five years.  Schedule intimate time together.  A lot of couples think that spontaneity is the "spice of life", but several researchers have found that scheduled time for intimacy is the only real world solution for many couples and the key is to be consistant.  Have a monthly "check-in" session going over the good and bad of your relationship.  Try not to focus on the negative or get bogged down with regret or what's missing, instead focus on the small moments and gestures that make you grateful for choosing the person you are with and celebrate those moments.  Don't be afraid to do your own thing once in awhile, after all, your interests and individual personality are what attracted you to your mate in the first place.  It's ok to keep connected to the things that you are passionate about.  This keeps those late night talks interesting and lets the other person rediscover you in a new way.

     Here's a little checklist of "8 ways to date your spouse":
1.   Kiss like you mean it.
2.   Fantasize about your future together.
3.   Have him/her plan your next night out.
4.   Ask him/her for updates on their friends.
5.   Sit on the same couch.
6.   Try a new activity together.
7.   Flirt with each other.
8.   Hold hands in public.

     When it comes down to it, there are so many things to learn about marriage and how to not go down the divorce path, but if you ever do, just remember to get a good lawyer!  Remember, you get what you pay for!


Benjamin, Jennifer. "How to Love Him Like You Just Met Him!". Redbook. September 2010. 191-196. Print.

Statistics on Divorce

     We've all heard the statement, "50% of all marriages, ends in divorce".  How true is this?  What are the real statistics for people of different ages and people that have been married more than one time?

Age	Women	Men
Under 20 years old	27.6%	11.7%
20 to 24 years old	36.6%	38.8%
25 to 29 years old	16.4%	22.3%
30 to 34 years old	8.5%	11.6%
35 to 39 years old	5.1%	6.5%

photo by divorcerate.org


     The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage is alarming!  The statistics project that 50% of first time marriages will end in divorce, 67% of second time marriages and a whopping 73% of third time marriages!  According to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri her projected percentages range from 40% - 73% in her academic journal.

     According to the Discovery Channel, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples.  There is something to be said for "staying together for the kids".  While sociologists believe that childlessness is also a common cause for divorce.  The absence of children leads to loneliness and weariness and even in the United States, at least 66 percent of all divorced couples are childless.

     Did you know that impotence is grounds for divorce in twenty-six states (Love, Lust & Faking It, McCarthy, Jenny 157).  No wonder the percentage of divorced couples without children is so high.


McCarthy, Jenny.  Love, Lust & Faking It:  The Naked Truth About Sex, Lies and True Romance.  HarperCollins. 2010. Print.